One of the scariest movies I saw as a kid was the Czechoslovakian film "Vampire Fero" if I remember correctly The name does not really matter though. Strangely I'd never be scared of thrillers, I'd be a bit afraid of the psycho-thrillers but there were very few movies that would make me tremble I do not remember what age I was - maybe 7-8, something like that The Fero vampire was a car and it worked so that when a driver drove it for some time, Fero would itself and starting sucking the blood and accelerating, until the person was dry. There was not much blood in the movie but I was terrified without fully realizing why.
Later on watched Matrix. I was both impressed and irritated The annoying part was that the man idea/plot was too close to the Mexican shaman explanation of the world as described by Castaneda The main idea there is that the world consists of organic and inorganic creatures, the latter living off the energy of the organic. The only task for a shaman is to stop her/his energy leakage via different exercises.
About the same time I was studying economics, accounting and law where we studied how to gather and preserve the economical "energy" = the money. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to immediately apply the learned material and become convinced of the efficiency of the studied practices At school we were warned against pushing too hard in the "money" direction. The main idea was that human beings make the money so the better the conditions for human resource development th better the yields And here arose the first issue - when the owners got satisfied with the income they tended towards scheming in order to preserve the earned while at the same time increase the profits Something had to give in and that was investment in HR - they were selling off their future
Years later I found a lost Bulgarian book was recovered in Turkey The book had originally been written in Slavonic translated to Turkish and then "back" to Bulgarian. It is a small booklet with simple rules promising to show people the door to eden. This booklet was the goal of the Crusades and the Inquisition genocide - The Bogomil/Cathar code. Written n the 10 century on the basis of early Christian literature (they claim to have preserved the original idea and scripts), Muslim, Sufi, Buddhism, Hinduism, Tangreism, Zoroastrianism, Shamanism. The whole philosophy is about preserving the perfect energy balance between the negative forces (destructive/devil) and the positive forces (constructive/god).
According to all these schools there's a conflict of interest between the human and inorganic (institutional, demonic) sides Again, according too all of them continuation is achieved only on the foundation of a balance between these two interests/forces/sides. Looking around though I do not see the condition of the human side in a good shape. I just thought that the inorganic is in trouble these days either but thats not true. Much more bureaucracy, papering, work and other resources are spent in liquidation - bankruptcies, wars, market crashes. No matter how counter-intuitive this may be for normal people all the above "troubles" inflate the inorganic side with energy/money/resources. So if we look back we see a great time for the inorganic/institutions/demons during the last century and a half at least What about the organic - humans and nature ? In pretty bad shape To make things worse institutions.inorganic/demons are assigning all these issues to human behavior. New laws institutions services are created.
So is it any wonder then that the human society is left without energy and motivation outside of the material/inorganic/demonic? Yes - object idols can serve purposes for some time but they are incapable of delivering energy Some object may help preserve some energy for a limited amount of time but they do not contain energy so they cannot emit energy. This is a very important point since people are easily fooled by engines and electricity We should not forget that for the production of electric and engine power we need to invest a considerable amount of energy first and then turn a part of this Earth into energy through burning. I do not know what this loss of net mass turned into energy means for the orbit of the planet What I notice is that this energy does not help people much = it helps us survive under the current conditions.
We are currently at a point where we are forced to invest all our energy (human and fro natural resources) to keep the inorganic/institutions/demons in good shape while we barely survive. Why do I think most of us are barely surviving? Most of us live on blood - we are unable to survive without it anymore. Most of us, modern people. Or energy. Or both. So most of us are blood vampires, energy vampires or both. I guess both The only unanswered question is when did that happen - in which point of my life? I think I joined the game when I was taken to the kindergarten but I need some ore time to think about it To be continued...
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Labor Struggles Have Delivered Economic Progress - Not the Cartelized “Free Market”
Webster Tarpley's close to perfect analysis on how we've been tugged during the last 50 years (more or less) :
Labor Struggles Have Delivered Economic Progress - Not the Cartelized “Free Market”
Labor Struggles Have Delivered Economic Progress - Not the Cartelized “Free Market”
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
How they broke TV
While working in IT I got a very nasty habit. I'd watch tons of modern TV shows and Movies. Its a very "natural" development since while working on something longer you need to wait for scripts and applications to run and fulfill their tasks. You cannot go away from the screen because the task which you're running may fail - the best thing to do in such moments is watch a TV series or a movie while waiting for the tasks to finish.
Just around the time I learned to do this I also heavily studied marketing and psychology at the University. My teachers were among the best professionals in the field who would teach kids in their free time (against a heavy fee of course but I don't regret it ;-) ). There are two main schools of marketing. Most of the things in our capitalist system function in the old model according to which people are separated in target groups (like hunted animals) and then psychologically "forced" into a certain consummative behavior. Here come two examples :
Men in modern series and movies are stronger than bulls and smarter than Einstein. All of the time we are reminded that their dicks are at least 20 cm long and all it takes for a man to fuck half the world without an effort is to buy an expensive car, have piles of muscles and buy "modern shit". This is what modern TV and movies tell men - buy a car, buy some pills for muscles from the protein shop (they now have shops for this), buy a new iPhone and ...... the rich are richer, the stupid are stupider. I should not forget the gay thing - men in series are made look sexy and fuckable not just by women but also by men - thus the metrosexual culture is imposed which implies even more spending - cosmetics and shit, you know. Bulgarians have the best proverb I have ever heard for this case - such people for them are "strong as bulls and almost as smart".
Women in modern series and movies are more aggressive than black mambas and unfortunately much stupider in them. They speak several languages, they are sexy beyond doubt (therefore they need to look increasingly like whores) - they can negotiate, fuck in all imaginable ways, speak many languages, deal with business, cars, computers but all of them have one big problem - they are looking for their Prince. In the middle of the movie they find their prince and after that the only thing they need to do is just watch out for other "black mambas" to not steal their prey. So women need to spend on education, new gadgets, fitness (to fight other mambas and be hot bitches in bed), maybe do some yoga for the more exotic positions - you know you wanna try more exotic stuff after 20 years of practicing sex ;-). And fashion - yes, they need to spend every year on "new skins" to keep the overproduction going ;-)
Kids - I love kids and I don't want to write about them here but their situation currently is similar but yet much worse than that of the above two groups.
What to do ? Its simple - look at the TV program and choose the program you like - watch it and then switch off the TV. Another option is to scroll through the channels and if you see something good you stay watch it - if you don't find anything good you DO NOT let play a random thing. This is what we marketeers are waiting for - you think you do not listen and you do not get instructed. BULLSHIT - this is exactly what we are waiting for and we force you to buy so much - you do not have energy to have personal lives, you only have energy to work and consume - nothing else. Without energy you cannot be happy - neither the best chocolate cake, nor the hardest huge dick, nor the tightest young pussy or ass will be capable of making you happy - no. They may make you even more unhappy because you do not have the energy to cope with them psychologically - it was swallowed by your employers, the TV and the movies you did not pick up carefully.
Just around the time I learned to do this I also heavily studied marketing and psychology at the University. My teachers were among the best professionals in the field who would teach kids in their free time (against a heavy fee of course but I don't regret it ;-) ). There are two main schools of marketing. Most of the things in our capitalist system function in the old model according to which people are separated in target groups (like hunted animals) and then psychologically "forced" into a certain consummative behavior. Here come two examples :
Men in modern series and movies are stronger than bulls and smarter than Einstein. All of the time we are reminded that their dicks are at least 20 cm long and all it takes for a man to fuck half the world without an effort is to buy an expensive car, have piles of muscles and buy "modern shit". This is what modern TV and movies tell men - buy a car, buy some pills for muscles from the protein shop (they now have shops for this), buy a new iPhone and ...... the rich are richer, the stupid are stupider. I should not forget the gay thing - men in series are made look sexy and fuckable not just by women but also by men - thus the metrosexual culture is imposed which implies even more spending - cosmetics and shit, you know. Bulgarians have the best proverb I have ever heard for this case - such people for them are "strong as bulls and almost as smart".
Women in modern series and movies are more aggressive than black mambas and unfortunately much stupider in them. They speak several languages, they are sexy beyond doubt (therefore they need to look increasingly like whores) - they can negotiate, fuck in all imaginable ways, speak many languages, deal with business, cars, computers but all of them have one big problem - they are looking for their Prince. In the middle of the movie they find their prince and after that the only thing they need to do is just watch out for other "black mambas" to not steal their prey. So women need to spend on education, new gadgets, fitness (to fight other mambas and be hot bitches in bed), maybe do some yoga for the more exotic positions - you know you wanna try more exotic stuff after 20 years of practicing sex ;-). And fashion - yes, they need to spend every year on "new skins" to keep the overproduction going ;-)
Kids - I love kids and I don't want to write about them here but their situation currently is similar but yet much worse than that of the above two groups.
What to do ? Its simple - look at the TV program and choose the program you like - watch it and then switch off the TV. Another option is to scroll through the channels and if you see something good you stay watch it - if you don't find anything good you DO NOT let play a random thing. This is what we marketeers are waiting for - you think you do not listen and you do not get instructed. BULLSHIT - this is exactly what we are waiting for and we force you to buy so much - you do not have energy to have personal lives, you only have energy to work and consume - nothing else. Without energy you cannot be happy - neither the best chocolate cake, nor the hardest huge dick, nor the tightest young pussy or ass will be capable of making you happy - no. They may make you even more unhappy because you do not have the energy to cope with them psychologically - it was swallowed by your employers, the TV and the movies you did not pick up carefully.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Daemons & angels
Do you know that at least one daemon lives in your house now - in the very moment you are reading this ? Yes - in fact they are several daemons with very nice exotic names, they all live in your modem - the Internet box, that is.
I first met the daemons when I started with Linux many years ago. In fact Linux was my ticket to the top of the world of IT business but that is another story altogether. So the daemons were small programs - scripts that would run constantly on a computer and would take care of some job. In fact daemons take care of all regular jobs on a Linux machine - your modem/router, android phone, computer, TV set, DVD recorder, camera, car computer, etc. I guess the same daemons are taking care of many of the functions in contemporary robots - starts to sound as an apocalyptic Sci-Fi meets the Bible story ;-).
So computer daemons are good daemons - they do jobs. We also have the viruses, which in fact are the bad daemons in IT. But since it becomes confusing to work that way - good daemons and bad daemons, the second were renamed to viruses. I can imagine the IT crowd differentiating between good and bad viruses and maybe worse - introducing an angels (good) and daemons (bad) system :-D.
So this whole stupid idea led me to another idea one day. Isn't it the same in our minds? Aren't the daemons the bad software - bad thoughts, and angels the good software - the good thoughts. Weren't the authors of the Bible just some kind of ancestors of today's IT crowd by any chance? Or is it vice versa - today's IT crowd is in fact maniacally into religion so they copied into the IT world some of the religious concepts ? :-)
Let's see. Psychology, the studies of human behavior suggest that human behavior is programmable. And I guess they are right - education seems to help people change. I wonder what does the disappearance of the keyboard from modern mobile phones mean then - we admit we are illiterate so we go back to pictures ? :-D Nevermind, if we agree with what psychology and scientists have to say then we are one step closer to admitting that the idea of bad programming and good programming patterns in our minds is not so insane. You remember what we called these patterns in Linux - daemons. Bad daemons and good daemons.
What are our thoughts then compared to the computer daemons ? It depends on us - the more a type of thoughts circles our mind, the more our "computer" is ready to deliver on these jobs. Now imagine that your mind is full of red shoes, purses, fast cars, new mobiles, beautiful tits, hard dicks. These are the so called Zombies in the IT language. Zombies are dead daemons in IT - they run but they cannot finalize any job - they do nothing, they just consume resources. For example a sports car will not fuck you - it is supposed to help you get laid but the car itself is a Zombie and the more you think about it the more .... What we do with Zombies is that we kill them in IT to free resources and use the computer for its purpose. So if we look back at life - what do we use our "computers" for ? What patterns are running along our circles - daemons, angels or zombies ? My personal opinion is that the exaggerated reliance on technology and institutions has turned us into a Zombie society - empty patterns are running our minds and bodies, which leads to empty minds, boring lives, etc. Be careful with the Angels, Daemons and Zombies you let running on your computer. Every computer has its limits - it can only take that much and after that it does not really work - it just repeats pointless tasks.
I first met the daemons when I started with Linux many years ago. In fact Linux was my ticket to the top of the world of IT business but that is another story altogether. So the daemons were small programs - scripts that would run constantly on a computer and would take care of some job. In fact daemons take care of all regular jobs on a Linux machine - your modem/router, android phone, computer, TV set, DVD recorder, camera, car computer, etc. I guess the same daemons are taking care of many of the functions in contemporary robots - starts to sound as an apocalyptic Sci-Fi meets the Bible story ;-).
So computer daemons are good daemons - they do jobs. We also have the viruses, which in fact are the bad daemons in IT. But since it becomes confusing to work that way - good daemons and bad daemons, the second were renamed to viruses. I can imagine the IT crowd differentiating between good and bad viruses and maybe worse - introducing an angels (good) and daemons (bad) system :-D.
So this whole stupid idea led me to another idea one day. Isn't it the same in our minds? Aren't the daemons the bad software - bad thoughts, and angels the good software - the good thoughts. Weren't the authors of the Bible just some kind of ancestors of today's IT crowd by any chance? Or is it vice versa - today's IT crowd is in fact maniacally into religion so they copied into the IT world some of the religious concepts ? :-)
Let's see. Psychology, the studies of human behavior suggest that human behavior is programmable. And I guess they are right - education seems to help people change. I wonder what does the disappearance of the keyboard from modern mobile phones mean then - we admit we are illiterate so we go back to pictures ? :-D Nevermind, if we agree with what psychology and scientists have to say then we are one step closer to admitting that the idea of bad programming and good programming patterns in our minds is not so insane. You remember what we called these patterns in Linux - daemons. Bad daemons and good daemons.
What are our thoughts then compared to the computer daemons ? It depends on us - the more a type of thoughts circles our mind, the more our "computer" is ready to deliver on these jobs. Now imagine that your mind is full of red shoes, purses, fast cars, new mobiles, beautiful tits, hard dicks. These are the so called Zombies in the IT language. Zombies are dead daemons in IT - they run but they cannot finalize any job - they do nothing, they just consume resources. For example a sports car will not fuck you - it is supposed to help you get laid but the car itself is a Zombie and the more you think about it the more .... What we do with Zombies is that we kill them in IT to free resources and use the computer for its purpose. So if we look back at life - what do we use our "computers" for ? What patterns are running along our circles - daemons, angels or zombies ? My personal opinion is that the exaggerated reliance on technology and institutions has turned us into a Zombie society - empty patterns are running our minds and bodies, which leads to empty minds, boring lives, etc. Be careful with the Angels, Daemons and Zombies you let running on your computer. Every computer has its limits - it can only take that much and after that it does not really work - it just repeats pointless tasks.
A receipt for happy life - day by day
As I was fighting my career into computers, wires, managers, telephones, Bilderberg hotels and dinners with ties at flaming French tables, I managed to glimpse the whole receipt for happy life. We have all seen parts of it but there aren't so many people around who have it complete. Here I will try to share mine - the ingredients are always a bit different so I'd suggest to just think a bit before applying (not too much thinking though - not healthy ;-)).
In computers we start with basic questions when we have to solve a problem. And the first one that really materialized tonight was why are we so afraid of evolution ? Aren't our complicated, unhappy, dull or unsatisfied lives an illusion which is possible to easily fix ? Maybe it isn't so simple, yet it is not complicated either. I have had an interesting life and have managed to learn a few things. One of them is that fear is the worst enemy of the human being, but also sometimes it is our best friend. The big problem with fear in my case is that I quickly adapt to new circumstances and then fear changes into stress. It is probably similar with many people. So as an aggressive type of a person I had to learn to recognize stress - it was not so easy until a couple of years ago. The poison was invisible, yet piling in my bones like lead. At one moment we all get used to different challenges and stress is minimized, hides itself in the fast daily life, but there is one thing which is still capable of triggering a lot of stress in me - change. But not change happening around - this I learned to manage - the biggest stress (or fear) factor is currently my own personal evolution. It has always been.
Personal evolution can be triggered by many factors. The first such factor in my case was going to the kindergarten. My personal specialism as a strange kid was talking. I talked extremely much since my first year and constantly asked questions, all the time. My parents got fed up relatively quickly and then aunts and relatives had to give a hand with the burden (me) :-). One of my aunts had to take me to the kindergarten one early morning. I was between two and three years of age and I decided this was my chance to find someone to free me from the burden of going there. So I started persuading my aunt not to take me to the kindergarten. At the beginning she was amused by the small stubborn kid who would talk almost like an adult. But I wouldn't give up. I'd explain to her how much I loved her and my parents and what hurt and damage they were causing to my little personality by taking me to these strange and often hostile women. It did not take more than 5 minutes before my aunt started crying which only backed up my running tears. But did not stop me from talking. The distance between our houses and the kindergarten was a 15 min walk. The next 5 minutes of the walk were a heavy crying walk with chants on the theme they didn't give a shit and were trying to get rid of me. My aunt ended it claiming I was an indulged crazy kid and ended the "negotiation" with an angry snap. The last 5 minutes were just sadness and tears. I felt like I was being led to a prison. She was just crying. The nasty uniformed bitches at the garden must have had a great time when we appeared in this state at the entrance.
This very bright memory of my first great fear - the fear of having to defend my ground on my own as a 2-year old against evil ladies in uniforms - it was fear of evolution. I was being pushed to deviate from my natural evolution (be close to parents until maturity) and I felt divine fear. But it could be otherwise - it could be much different. The women working at the kindergarten could be more polite and careful, my parents could spend more time with me there at the beginning, etc. This would be a much more "natural" hastened evolution and most importantly - I would have a much better and much happier life, my parents and aunts too. Big time. The only missing factor was change in the attitude and expectations. New times, new model - old behavioral patterns and prejudices - a catastrophe.
Today I look around and I see most of my friends and colleagues quite desperate. Our personal lives suck beyond recognition. In that monotonous gray way which is even a waste of time and ink to describe. Their biggest problem - they are unhappy. My friends at 30 have forgotten what it is someone to fall in love with them, for real. My parents at 60 are repeatedly asking themselves what did they do wrong that God punishes them with not having grandchildren yet (my father is a proclaimed atheist by the way ;-). 60% of my friends and colleagues got divorced in the first 10 years of their marriages. Most of us are unhappy about these things, our lives suck. How do I know? We don't have good time. Boring, dull, routine, presumably comfortable lives - maybe. I rarely meet people with energy though - with genuinely happy faces who would walk the street with a slightly dreamy smiling expression, who would notice the birds and rats chasing each other playfully around the expensive cars.
So how do we lose energy for life ? Why are we so unhappy ? With me it is fear and negative stress. We know that but we don't want to really hear it anymore. This knowledge does not help much as it is. Just the opposite - fear of fear and stress is even worse than fear itself. This is a very common condition in the place I live. I know it sounds crazy and too simple but it is so. But what do we fear so much in our modern lives? We fear we may lose comfort since it is a very tricky balance to keep nowadays - comfort. The biggest problem with comfort is that it is a feeling created by the perception of security. In all organic creatures' genes the feeling of security is connected with change in the environment - the less change (especially unexpected) the less fear and stress. So we are always careful for the security factors to be in place - if something changes even slightly we become alert. Everybody knows this and things should be simple. They are.
The first changes we notice in our daily lives are technological today. In order for the public to not be afraid of the technological change and embrace it bravely, massive advertisement and amusement propaganda is engaged. Still change is difficult since it increases the fear factor in our lives - people react and become more stubborn and immune to ads about the change by the day. Then the advertisers target different groups and develop new methods of enforcing the technological change onto society and we fight back, we spill resources to lead a sad life in war. Ironically technological change is often very positive - you do not have to make a bigger effort than go to the kitchen and you have water from the tap for example. Only this simple change frees more than 15 min a day in your schedule. So even if we are afraid of change it is often good. Another example are robots in today's manufacturing - risky or dull jobs are now done by robots, freeing time and resources. Education is what helps differentiate the real dangers from positive change. Real education - not the censored dull thing we receive at today's schools which only focuses on production effectiveness, not on how to lead a happy normal life.
And this is the point where we reach the heart of the problem. Technology is imposing huge changes onto the daily life of society yet this society is strictly pre-programmed for fear towards changes. Pre-programmed by institutions. Thus people learned to call a friend instead of sending a letter but what did they do with the spare time ? Some people started learning to kill time - as advertised on TV. Just consume as an individual or a couple or a small family and repeat the same actions in loops. Others had time to think of ways to ruin their social lives. There were many lured by the ancient standards of historic religious/political institutions to find an empty road to a thorny illusion. Still no one got much happiness. Not many smiling faces in the streets. Somehow its not logical - we are so much richer in possibilities and capacities but yet we are unhappy, tired, bored, unmotivated, gray.
And I think it is all because of fear. We are afraid of the change - the world around us is a part of us and we are a part of it. When technology around us changes - it changes our lives, it changes our habitat, it changes our routines. Yet we do not want to admit it to ourselves. We insist on technology evolving but life staying the same. Its not possible. I remember a family back in Sofia shortly after the change to democracy. They moved to a flat from some village, into the heart of Sofia, where they bred a couple of sheep on the balcony. You know, for the milk and later maybe more ;-) . Somehow they refused to accept that people in Sofia would get milk from the store for the last hundred and fifty years at least. I still remember the stories of them dragging the poor stupid animals down the stairs for a walk. I don't even dare imagine the fanfare returns of the herd - this was the joke of the decade of quite a busy quarter ;-).
So why didn't these people want to accept that times were better and they needn't torture the animals and themselves in the heart of a modern city? Why is it then that we continue torturing ourselves with similar mistakes everyday when it is so simple to see the stupidity? Why is it so difficult to say to ourselves the world is different today. Maybe the time has come to accept that women are not just cooking tits and asses while men are not just cumbags smelling of beer ? And why do we insist on the old model of family when in reality our children spend most of their aware time away from their families - in kindergartens, schools, institutions of society and we lost most of our influence on their education? Why do women insist on the ideal of the prince on the horse taking care of all issues, capable of kissing and slapping them while at the same time every single woman has raised at least a mini feminist bitch in herself compared to whom Coco Chanel looks like a kitty ? And why do men have these piles of artificial muscles when they are ready to beg and please and knee and sleaze just for a boring glimpse of two white tits outside of a disco? When I was a teenager it was normal for us to fuck in front of everyone at parties - we wanted love and we just made love, nowadays kids have to beg to see tits? How can these kids grow into men? How can these women not grow into whores if they expect to be paid for their tits? I don't have an idea, that's too complex for me. I like simple "shit" I can handle. For me sex is an active physical act of pleasure, I have issues handling illusionary sex - its boring. Boring as a synonym of stupid.
Times change and time goes by. I can choose to be depressed or I can choose to realize that we have evolved since we created this more developed technology. And when we grow - we have all been kids - its difficult but this is what life is about, to me at least. And this is what makes it so interesting and great. Once upon a time I had a couple of friends in a small town in Bulgaria. Then I got a couple of more in Sofia. Then some more in Prague, now Berlin. And it sucked - finding and keeping them was not easy but paid off million-fold since no money can buy you friendship. And this is the key to happiness - we as a society have come to a stage where we do not need to think about the material so much any more, we need to concentrate on the more important - the spiritual. Like happiness, love, friendships - not the illusionary institutions, the real feelings charging you with positive energy for life. Yes - you read right. Since the 19th century humanity has so much spare resources it does not know what to do with them. In the 20th century it overproduced massively and made wars to negate the overproduction. Now we have a second chance - a new millennium. We can choose to invest our spare resources into enjoying our lives or into destroying them. We can choose to provide for ourselves by working for a couple of hours a day and spend the rest of the time on bringing up-to-date personal evolution. A walk in the hills or going to the opera is evolution for most of the people today. We can also accept that maybe our old idea of the most important of all institutions - the family - is outdated and seems a bit perverse today and it is time to live in a more evolved - more adult way. Why do we still insist on an ideal for the family structure and relations which has been born in the times of slavery and copies the logic of slavery ? This is one of the reasons you sign a marital contract - you are not a free person anymore. This does not sound correct nowadays - does it? You are not free anymore..... So why do we still want to stick to all its old rules - why don't we update them ? Why do we insist on being sexually faithful to one person when even the kids nowadays know that no human being is capable of being in love with one person for more than three years ? Are we really so weak as individuals that we need to own and be owned in order to feel comfort and safety, therefore we are ready to live in illusions, stop evolving and continue fighting? Is really signed paper so much more important than trust ? More important than life itself for the purpose of which it was initially created? Why is it that we forgot how to trust people but we did not forget how to possess people? And can we really trust ourselves if we can not trust anybody else ?
Such questions make me sad and depressed, I hate them. And we do not need to love them, we do not need to think about them - we know the answers. We are just not sure about the implementation. Well, in Prague I learned to be a realist and this is where I learned how to live happily. I do not fool myself anymore. I know I cannot afford kids given my family situation and the state of the institutions nowadays. My little personal freedom and time (as an immigrant) would also be severely damaged so I just accept it and don't worry. There are so many other kids in this world - it does not matter they are not mine, even the kids born by us are not possessed by us anymore - the difference is only in the time spent together which is getting lesser by the day anyway. I also live with one person for a very long time and since day one I fully realize that people change and I do not expect to own the passion of that other person for a lifetime. So I am happy - I do not occupy myself with the thought that my partner would be cheating on me, I know the reality and I do not expect illusions to materialize. No one can be the perfect prince after all, especially when the idea of perfection evolves so quickly nowadays so how can I expect someone to fall in love with me over and over again - that's insane ;-).
So it is the same with society - we can choose to be a happy and developing society or we can choose to live in an illusion and disappointment. We know we are being cheated on by bankers, politicians, media - its their job to cheat us which we created and support. You do not want to be cheated - do not support their jobs (of cheating). We can also choose to lie to ourselves but then we need to ask for help from time to time - "How was I tonite darling? Was the fuck good?". If you need to ask then it was a disaster. Same with life - if I ask you how is life and I really mean the question (not just saying a polite phrase) - then its bad, real bad. I remember very well we never asked each other as kids how life was - neither each other nor grown ups. Most of the people were happy and smiling so we didn't need to ask such a boring question. We asked when we saw a long face.
So what changed since then? Everything. Then do our expectations of institutions have to be the same ? Aren't institutions expected to develop in the same way as technology ? I think they should be - as we know from the economy producing our technology - institutions provide services and services also evolve, not just technology. Therefore our institutions should evolve or we face a catastrophe. It is insane to have banks working in almost the same way as a thousand years ago when the motor engine did not even exist as a concept. Our institutions and our expectations of them are very ancient and are dragging our society towards a collapse - the modern marital institution was last updated by Caligula and Marc Antonius two thousand years ago when daily routines, tasks and priorities were different - why do we expect this institution to be adequate today ? The modern corporation model was created by the Mussolini fascist regime - it was designed to treat people like animals. So why are we surprised we are being treated increasingly like animals? Why do we expect this institution (corporations) to function effectively almost one hundred years and at least three huge technological revolutions later ?
It is so simple and yet so difficult. The only reason for all this confusion is fear - fear from the change. Maybe in order to handle it better we should slow our technology development for some time and concentrate on the update of institutions - social, political and economic. And for this change to happen we do not need society - each and every one of us can do it separately. I simply started thinking and leading my life in a new way - I try to limit the involvement with outdated institutions (realizing it is not the 18th century anymore) and life becomes more fun. So to wrap it up - the receipt is the following :
Institutions are what you make them - your attitude towards them decides their role in your life. So banks, governments, courts, corporations, churches, family, nation - these are what you want them to be in your life. You want them new and updated - you have them, there is nothing to do - just change your thoughts and attitude and you live in a new happier world. Yes - people around will want to stick to their illusions. That's fine - live and let live. Your life was given to you under the condition you will make with it what YOU want. If you sell out the punishment is sadness, disappointment, depression, boredom and I do not want to look back at my life one day and see a big grayness. I don't have to. Why ?
Protože ... tohle je můj život! :-)
In computers we start with basic questions when we have to solve a problem. And the first one that really materialized tonight was why are we so afraid of evolution ? Aren't our complicated, unhappy, dull or unsatisfied lives an illusion which is possible to easily fix ? Maybe it isn't so simple, yet it is not complicated either. I have had an interesting life and have managed to learn a few things. One of them is that fear is the worst enemy of the human being, but also sometimes it is our best friend. The big problem with fear in my case is that I quickly adapt to new circumstances and then fear changes into stress. It is probably similar with many people. So as an aggressive type of a person I had to learn to recognize stress - it was not so easy until a couple of years ago. The poison was invisible, yet piling in my bones like lead. At one moment we all get used to different challenges and stress is minimized, hides itself in the fast daily life, but there is one thing which is still capable of triggering a lot of stress in me - change. But not change happening around - this I learned to manage - the biggest stress (or fear) factor is currently my own personal evolution. It has always been.
Personal evolution can be triggered by many factors. The first such factor in my case was going to the kindergarten. My personal specialism as a strange kid was talking. I talked extremely much since my first year and constantly asked questions, all the time. My parents got fed up relatively quickly and then aunts and relatives had to give a hand with the burden (me) :-). One of my aunts had to take me to the kindergarten one early morning. I was between two and three years of age and I decided this was my chance to find someone to free me from the burden of going there. So I started persuading my aunt not to take me to the kindergarten. At the beginning she was amused by the small stubborn kid who would talk almost like an adult. But I wouldn't give up. I'd explain to her how much I loved her and my parents and what hurt and damage they were causing to my little personality by taking me to these strange and often hostile women. It did not take more than 5 minutes before my aunt started crying which only backed up my running tears. But did not stop me from talking. The distance between our houses and the kindergarten was a 15 min walk. The next 5 minutes of the walk were a heavy crying walk with chants on the theme they didn't give a shit and were trying to get rid of me. My aunt ended it claiming I was an indulged crazy kid and ended the "negotiation" with an angry snap. The last 5 minutes were just sadness and tears. I felt like I was being led to a prison. She was just crying. The nasty uniformed bitches at the garden must have had a great time when we appeared in this state at the entrance.
This very bright memory of my first great fear - the fear of having to defend my ground on my own as a 2-year old against evil ladies in uniforms - it was fear of evolution. I was being pushed to deviate from my natural evolution (be close to parents until maturity) and I felt divine fear. But it could be otherwise - it could be much different. The women working at the kindergarten could be more polite and careful, my parents could spend more time with me there at the beginning, etc. This would be a much more "natural" hastened evolution and most importantly - I would have a much better and much happier life, my parents and aunts too. Big time. The only missing factor was change in the attitude and expectations. New times, new model - old behavioral patterns and prejudices - a catastrophe.
Today I look around and I see most of my friends and colleagues quite desperate. Our personal lives suck beyond recognition. In that monotonous gray way which is even a waste of time and ink to describe. Their biggest problem - they are unhappy. My friends at 30 have forgotten what it is someone to fall in love with them, for real. My parents at 60 are repeatedly asking themselves what did they do wrong that God punishes them with not having grandchildren yet (my father is a proclaimed atheist by the way ;-). 60% of my friends and colleagues got divorced in the first 10 years of their marriages. Most of us are unhappy about these things, our lives suck. How do I know? We don't have good time. Boring, dull, routine, presumably comfortable lives - maybe. I rarely meet people with energy though - with genuinely happy faces who would walk the street with a slightly dreamy smiling expression, who would notice the birds and rats chasing each other playfully around the expensive cars.
So how do we lose energy for life ? Why are we so unhappy ? With me it is fear and negative stress. We know that but we don't want to really hear it anymore. This knowledge does not help much as it is. Just the opposite - fear of fear and stress is even worse than fear itself. This is a very common condition in the place I live. I know it sounds crazy and too simple but it is so. But what do we fear so much in our modern lives? We fear we may lose comfort since it is a very tricky balance to keep nowadays - comfort. The biggest problem with comfort is that it is a feeling created by the perception of security. In all organic creatures' genes the feeling of security is connected with change in the environment - the less change (especially unexpected) the less fear and stress. So we are always careful for the security factors to be in place - if something changes even slightly we become alert. Everybody knows this and things should be simple. They are.
The first changes we notice in our daily lives are technological today. In order for the public to not be afraid of the technological change and embrace it bravely, massive advertisement and amusement propaganda is engaged. Still change is difficult since it increases the fear factor in our lives - people react and become more stubborn and immune to ads about the change by the day. Then the advertisers target different groups and develop new methods of enforcing the technological change onto society and we fight back, we spill resources to lead a sad life in war. Ironically technological change is often very positive - you do not have to make a bigger effort than go to the kitchen and you have water from the tap for example. Only this simple change frees more than 15 min a day in your schedule. So even if we are afraid of change it is often good. Another example are robots in today's manufacturing - risky or dull jobs are now done by robots, freeing time and resources. Education is what helps differentiate the real dangers from positive change. Real education - not the censored dull thing we receive at today's schools which only focuses on production effectiveness, not on how to lead a happy normal life.
And this is the point where we reach the heart of the problem. Technology is imposing huge changes onto the daily life of society yet this society is strictly pre-programmed for fear towards changes. Pre-programmed by institutions. Thus people learned to call a friend instead of sending a letter but what did they do with the spare time ? Some people started learning to kill time - as advertised on TV. Just consume as an individual or a couple or a small family and repeat the same actions in loops. Others had time to think of ways to ruin their social lives. There were many lured by the ancient standards of historic religious/political institutions to find an empty road to a thorny illusion. Still no one got much happiness. Not many smiling faces in the streets. Somehow its not logical - we are so much richer in possibilities and capacities but yet we are unhappy, tired, bored, unmotivated, gray.
And I think it is all because of fear. We are afraid of the change - the world around us is a part of us and we are a part of it. When technology around us changes - it changes our lives, it changes our habitat, it changes our routines. Yet we do not want to admit it to ourselves. We insist on technology evolving but life staying the same. Its not possible. I remember a family back in Sofia shortly after the change to democracy. They moved to a flat from some village, into the heart of Sofia, where they bred a couple of sheep on the balcony. You know, for the milk and later maybe more ;-) . Somehow they refused to accept that people in Sofia would get milk from the store for the last hundred and fifty years at least. I still remember the stories of them dragging the poor stupid animals down the stairs for a walk. I don't even dare imagine the fanfare returns of the herd - this was the joke of the decade of quite a busy quarter ;-).
So why didn't these people want to accept that times were better and they needn't torture the animals and themselves in the heart of a modern city? Why is it then that we continue torturing ourselves with similar mistakes everyday when it is so simple to see the stupidity? Why is it so difficult to say to ourselves the world is different today. Maybe the time has come to accept that women are not just cooking tits and asses while men are not just cumbags smelling of beer ? And why do we insist on the old model of family when in reality our children spend most of their aware time away from their families - in kindergartens, schools, institutions of society and we lost most of our influence on their education? Why do women insist on the ideal of the prince on the horse taking care of all issues, capable of kissing and slapping them while at the same time every single woman has raised at least a mini feminist bitch in herself compared to whom Coco Chanel looks like a kitty ? And why do men have these piles of artificial muscles when they are ready to beg and please and knee and sleaze just for a boring glimpse of two white tits outside of a disco? When I was a teenager it was normal for us to fuck in front of everyone at parties - we wanted love and we just made love, nowadays kids have to beg to see tits? How can these kids grow into men? How can these women not grow into whores if they expect to be paid for their tits? I don't have an idea, that's too complex for me. I like simple "shit" I can handle. For me sex is an active physical act of pleasure, I have issues handling illusionary sex - its boring. Boring as a synonym of stupid.
Times change and time goes by. I can choose to be depressed or I can choose to realize that we have evolved since we created this more developed technology. And when we grow - we have all been kids - its difficult but this is what life is about, to me at least. And this is what makes it so interesting and great. Once upon a time I had a couple of friends in a small town in Bulgaria. Then I got a couple of more in Sofia. Then some more in Prague, now Berlin. And it sucked - finding and keeping them was not easy but paid off million-fold since no money can buy you friendship. And this is the key to happiness - we as a society have come to a stage where we do not need to think about the material so much any more, we need to concentrate on the more important - the spiritual. Like happiness, love, friendships - not the illusionary institutions, the real feelings charging you with positive energy for life. Yes - you read right. Since the 19th century humanity has so much spare resources it does not know what to do with them. In the 20th century it overproduced massively and made wars to negate the overproduction. Now we have a second chance - a new millennium. We can choose to invest our spare resources into enjoying our lives or into destroying them. We can choose to provide for ourselves by working for a couple of hours a day and spend the rest of the time on bringing up-to-date personal evolution. A walk in the hills or going to the opera is evolution for most of the people today. We can also accept that maybe our old idea of the most important of all institutions - the family - is outdated and seems a bit perverse today and it is time to live in a more evolved - more adult way. Why do we still insist on an ideal for the family structure and relations which has been born in the times of slavery and copies the logic of slavery ? This is one of the reasons you sign a marital contract - you are not a free person anymore. This does not sound correct nowadays - does it? You are not free anymore..... So why do we still want to stick to all its old rules - why don't we update them ? Why do we insist on being sexually faithful to one person when even the kids nowadays know that no human being is capable of being in love with one person for more than three years ? Are we really so weak as individuals that we need to own and be owned in order to feel comfort and safety, therefore we are ready to live in illusions, stop evolving and continue fighting? Is really signed paper so much more important than trust ? More important than life itself for the purpose of which it was initially created? Why is it that we forgot how to trust people but we did not forget how to possess people? And can we really trust ourselves if we can not trust anybody else ?
Such questions make me sad and depressed, I hate them. And we do not need to love them, we do not need to think about them - we know the answers. We are just not sure about the implementation. Well, in Prague I learned to be a realist and this is where I learned how to live happily. I do not fool myself anymore. I know I cannot afford kids given my family situation and the state of the institutions nowadays. My little personal freedom and time (as an immigrant) would also be severely damaged so I just accept it and don't worry. There are so many other kids in this world - it does not matter they are not mine, even the kids born by us are not possessed by us anymore - the difference is only in the time spent together which is getting lesser by the day anyway. I also live with one person for a very long time and since day one I fully realize that people change and I do not expect to own the passion of that other person for a lifetime. So I am happy - I do not occupy myself with the thought that my partner would be cheating on me, I know the reality and I do not expect illusions to materialize. No one can be the perfect prince after all, especially when the idea of perfection evolves so quickly nowadays so how can I expect someone to fall in love with me over and over again - that's insane ;-).
So it is the same with society - we can choose to be a happy and developing society or we can choose to live in an illusion and disappointment. We know we are being cheated on by bankers, politicians, media - its their job to cheat us which we created and support. You do not want to be cheated - do not support their jobs (of cheating). We can also choose to lie to ourselves but then we need to ask for help from time to time - "How was I tonite darling? Was the fuck good?". If you need to ask then it was a disaster. Same with life - if I ask you how is life and I really mean the question (not just saying a polite phrase) - then its bad, real bad. I remember very well we never asked each other as kids how life was - neither each other nor grown ups. Most of the people were happy and smiling so we didn't need to ask such a boring question. We asked when we saw a long face.
So what changed since then? Everything. Then do our expectations of institutions have to be the same ? Aren't institutions expected to develop in the same way as technology ? I think they should be - as we know from the economy producing our technology - institutions provide services and services also evolve, not just technology. Therefore our institutions should evolve or we face a catastrophe. It is insane to have banks working in almost the same way as a thousand years ago when the motor engine did not even exist as a concept. Our institutions and our expectations of them are very ancient and are dragging our society towards a collapse - the modern marital institution was last updated by Caligula and Marc Antonius two thousand years ago when daily routines, tasks and priorities were different - why do we expect this institution to be adequate today ? The modern corporation model was created by the Mussolini fascist regime - it was designed to treat people like animals. So why are we surprised we are being treated increasingly like animals? Why do we expect this institution (corporations) to function effectively almost one hundred years and at least three huge technological revolutions later ?
It is so simple and yet so difficult. The only reason for all this confusion is fear - fear from the change. Maybe in order to handle it better we should slow our technology development for some time and concentrate on the update of institutions - social, political and economic. And for this change to happen we do not need society - each and every one of us can do it separately. I simply started thinking and leading my life in a new way - I try to limit the involvement with outdated institutions (realizing it is not the 18th century anymore) and life becomes more fun. So to wrap it up - the receipt is the following :
Institutions are what you make them - your attitude towards them decides their role in your life. So banks, governments, courts, corporations, churches, family, nation - these are what you want them to be in your life. You want them new and updated - you have them, there is nothing to do - just change your thoughts and attitude and you live in a new happier world. Yes - people around will want to stick to their illusions. That's fine - live and let live. Your life was given to you under the condition you will make with it what YOU want. If you sell out the punishment is sadness, disappointment, depression, boredom and I do not want to look back at my life one day and see a big grayness. I don't have to. Why ?
Protože ... tohle je můj život! :-)
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